PIC and I seem to be over our man-drought and there have been a few flirtatious texts, meeting for drinks and dinner dates going on in recent weeks. There have also been nights spent wanting to bang our heads against walls, questioning the meaning of certain suggestions and one Sunday afternoon spent wandering around south London waiting to meet a date that then decides he can’t be bothered.
But why is it, the one’s we want to see again back off and the one’s we decide aren’t going anywhere turn in to stalkers?
Man Mountain was first encountered a few months ago. PIC decided to see him a few times as he was a nice enough guy but there was no spark. He has even stayed at hers a few times, although the PJ’s remained firmly on (which should have been a hint to any guy). We discussed the fact that she might be leading him on a bit and so she had ‘the chat’. Admittedly girls don’t often give the ‘I think we want different things’ chat, especially when it’s the boy who wants the relationship and the girl who wants to carry on playing the field. But Man Mountain seems to grasp the concept and decides he’s ok with it. Good news for the PIC as she can now carry on seeing Balham Boy, the one she does actually fancy but lives too far away for mid-week dates. However, because boys are stupid it soon becomes clear that Man Mountain has completely ignored the fact that PIC is Just Not That in to Him and continuously texts:
“What are you doing?”
“When are we going out next?”
“Are you free today/tomorrow/every day for all eternity?”
No amount of evasive texts about working late, seeing a mate, busy diary or falling in to a black hole seem to communicate to Man Mountain that actually, PIC is not that fussed about seeing him. So again, she has to explain to him that whilst he’s a lovely person, and the occasional drink and trip to the cinema is great, he does not set her world on fire and she doesn’t want to bang his brains out. He seems shocked at this,
“But you called me on Saturday night”
Interesting point. Boys, if a girl calls you slurring at 1am because she knows you’re out in the same town do you think she’s calling you as a boyfriend or someone who she can go home with because she’s drunk and needs a seeing to? It’s got Booty Call written all over it! Man Mountain took it that she had reconsidered and actually she did want to see him, so much so that it had to be right then and she could not wait. He has since made out that she didn’t act like a girl who didn’t want him as a boyfriend despite the following:
1) She told him she didn’t want a boyfriend
2) She told him she didn’t think they were compatible
3) She told him that she knew he wanted a relationship yet she didn’t want one with him
4) She has shared a bed with him 5 times and all he’s got is a goodnight kiss before she’s rolled away and gone to sleep.
His reply when he FINALLY got it “Well you know where I am if you change your mind”.
Then there’s Balham Boy, who has also been deleted out of PIC’s phone recently but for completely opposite reasons.
PIC quite likes Balham Boy because he ticks most of the boxes she’s looking for and is rather cute. He even travelled out to our side of London (which frankly doesn’t happen that often – we’ve found south and east London boys get as far as central London and freak out). After a few dates close to home the PIC agrees to spend a day in south London with him. She confirms that morning where to meet and sets off. When she gets to the designated meeting place he’s not there. She calls, he doesn’t answer. She texts and awaits his reply. She gives up and finds a nearby café.
After 45 minutes she hears from him. He has gone to a pub ‘near his’ with a friend and she could either get a bus or a cab and meet him there. So she asks the name of the pub and again. No reply. So she tries again: “Can you meet me outside the pub as not sure which one you mean”. Nothing. “If you don’t reply to me in 20 minutes I’m going home”. Nothing. So she sets off home. His response when she’s half way home?….
“Shame, I was really looking forward to seeing you. Maybe next time?”
NEXT TIME? Somehow mate, I don’t think there will be a next time. She’s deleted your number.
It’s not a case of us girls wanting the bad boy over the nice boy. It’s a case of boys are stupid. The ones you don’t want don’t listen and turn in to stalkers and the ones you do want keep you hanging as they don’t realise they are on to a good thing.
I’m sure I’ll have more to add to this soon… depends if the boys in my own little black iPhone turn out to be stupid or not…
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