serena says no to dating!

Serena Williams says she’s done dating for ‘next decade’

serena

And who can blame since we are in the worst dating recession since the STI epidemic of the late 80s.

Read the full story here

A man found sobbing after sex ordeal

“It was hell, I can’t walk!” Man found sobbing in street after 36-hour sex ordeal with German nymphomaniac

The woman was arrested last month after another exhausted lover escaped onto a balcony and cried for help

Read the full article here

Amazing Man, Amazing Night

By The Dating Game

Last Friday night, my two girlfriends and I descended onto the streets of Camden. One friend was meeting up with a guy she had first met the previous week and wanted us to be nearby incase he turned out to be a freak. Unfortunately for us, he turned out to be a gorgeous Brad Pitt Lookalike…

Once our local haunt closed at the ripe old time of 1am, we decided to head on down to our favourite salsa club. After a few sweaty moves, my friend and I decided to go outside for a breather, and as we sat down, I noticed a cute guy looking over.
I decided to play it cool and ignore him for a little while, until which point, I glanced at him and caught him looking. We both laughed and he invited my friend and I to sit with his two friends.
Fast forward a couple of hours, and we had completely hit it off (despite the fact he was 13 years older). We had all moved on to have a shisha and mint tea, and he was starting his first suggestions of asking me to come back to his place.
Seeing as my two friends were staying over at mine, I didn’t want to abandon them (girls gotta stick together right?!), but I couldn’t help but feel something. My instinct said that this could be an amazing night, and while I don’t usually do this sort of thing, I felt strangely drawn to him, and spending more time with him.

I told him to give me his address and number, and that I was gonna go home. If I dropped the girls off at mine, and changed my mind, then I would get a cab to his, but if I didn’t, then he would never see me again. After exchanging a few texts in the cab on the way home, I decided I would go.

Once home, I quickly jumped in the shower, and changed into my beautiful lacy ‘sex’ underwear. Between his impatient texts, and my cab calling, I paused briefly to think whether I was doing the right thing. I felt certain that I was, so at 5.30am, I got into a taxi and made my way to a stranger’s house.

Once there, it became clear that I had made the right choice. The electricity was unbelievable, and we spent the next 8 hours in bed not sleeping. He made a comment saying that he couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt with me, and funnily enough I had thought the same thing. It kind of freaked me out, but also felt strangely comforting. He couldn’t keep his hands off me, and at one point I was dozing off, wrapped in his arms, my face close to his face. I think he thought I was asleep because he squeezed me tightly and whispered “you’re lovely” after kissing my forehead.

We had many conversations that morning. We talked about our families, our past relationships, our ambitions, our experiences, and we had a lot of laughs. He said that he thought it would be a crime not to see each other again, but I couldn’t help but wonder whether this would be that one amazing night, and nothing more.

It’s been 4 days and nothing, but only time will tell.

Read more on The Dating Game

When you’re yesterday’s news

By The Hopeful Romantic

You used to (read: a couple of days ago),  spend all day messaging, tweeting and FBing each other. Your conversations were ‘epic’….. spanning the length and breadth of all  possible conversational areas: Philosophy, politics, music… The list was endless.

And then one day.  It just stopped.

*BBM confused face*

And you’re left asking some variation of this:

“Got talking to a guy through  …Twitter. He was doing all the chasing, now he’s backed right off. To ignore him or keep persevering?”

Safe to say, I think we’ve all been there.  But what should we do? Should you ignore or should you persevere?  The question that often runs through someone’s mind is –  Why did he stop calling / tweeting/ BBMing?

Who really knows?

I’ve had a conversation s with fellows and responses were varied and in some instances just scary:

- Married
– was only after sex and quite frankly she was taking too long
– I didn’t like the way she spelled/spoke/ or her use of the <insert slang word here>
– she seemed like she was getting too heavy
– I just couldn’t be bothered

To be honest, the reason he cut off contact doesn’t really matter. The fact is he did.

If you believe all the self help books out there… Men are like hunters.

That means that You sister-girl, should not be hunting him down.

Now before I get tomatoes thrown at me – I’m not talking about the Rules, faux humility, faux girliness!  I have no time for game playing. I’m talking about you having a realistic belief in your worth. I’m talking about you recognising that not everyone is for you and you’re not for everyone. Maybe he recognised that fact and was just too wimpy to tell you… Or maybe… well lets not  spend too long speculating on it.

There are no hard and fast rules to this. Each situation has to be taken on its individual merit

But i think it’s safe to say the following should be avoided:

- phone/ BBM /twitter stalking them is an absolute no-no
– trying to come up with logical reasons as to why he needs to continue your interaction

IF you feel in your heart that there was a personal issue he was facing then maybe – attempt a contact.  But no more than that – he wasn’t your husband or your boyfriend – just someone you were getting to know.

All I can say is this, never try to persuade or convince someone that they need to be with you. Because shoot – if they can’t see it  for themselves  and you have to fling yourself at them any relationship that then flows from there will be on the basis of one person not really wanting to be there.

“If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”  – Anon

Know your worth.
Keep Going!
#THR

Read more on The Hopeful Romantic. Originally published here

Warning: Single Girls Out to Steal Your Husband

By Singleinshires

Single girls are like Vampires. You invite us in to your social circle and we will start picking off your men folk one by one until they are nothing more than lifeless corpses. We are like Witches. We will hypnotize men in relationships so that their partners cease to exist in their heads and seduce the poor defenseless boys so that they become our personal sex slaves. We will of course then leave them bewildered and send them back to their wives and girlfriends.
This is, of course, bull shit.
Whilst there are certain harlots out there that will move in on a man regardless, or because of, his relationship, can you please stop tarring us all with the same brush?
I went to a wedding at the weekend. I was invited by the groom who I have known for 15 years. The only people I knew to talk to were the groom’s male friends from university as I had visited him there and in more recent years I have tagged along to their yearly boy’s-day-at-the-rugby. That’s just the kind of girl I am, I have mostly male friends who cease to see me as a girl and tend to include me as one of the boys. So I drag my Partner in Crime along to the wedding as my Plus One and I introduce her to the boys (she had met the best man previously, but no one else.) The boys, in turn, introduce us to their wives and girlfriends. I am aware, instantly, that there is a ‘them and us’ atmosphere developing. I always try to make a concerted effort with the female partners of any of my male friends – but some make it harder than others. In many cases I have ended up with great girl mates as a result of them dating a boy mate of mine.
So, there we are, two single girls in a room full of couples and the only people we know to chat to are accompanied by girls that eye us with disdain and mistrust. My evil streak wanted to push their buttons and flirt like hell with the boys but it’s a wedding reception and the last thing I want to cause is a cat fight – especially as I’d win. Have you seen my claws?

So instead, I gave up trying to make polite conversation and end up sat on the terrace smoking cigars and drinking whiskey with the groom and his ushers whilst PIC is being spun round the dance floor like a rock and roll whirlwind by the best man.
At this point I’d like to point out that I snogged the groom as a teenager after too much stolen cider and may have found the best man attractive when I first met him but soon learned that he’s not my type personality wise. The rest of the gang I have never found attractive and have never, ever so much as flirted with to get my own way let alone tried it on with anyone seriously.

Tell this to the girlfriends.
PIC comes storming over to where I’m sat, clearly agitated. Seems two of the wives had grabbed her whilst she was dancing and pushed her in to a corner. They made it perfectly clear to the PIC that the best man had a girlfriend and that the PIC should leave him alone as she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. I was seriously unimpressed. We’re at a wedding reception, not the toilets of my old high school. The best man’s girlfriend wasn’t even friends with these girls. Both wives then make their way out to their husbands, who of course I’m sat with, and plonk themselves on their laps, arms around them possessively and sit at a perfect angle to glare at me.
Immediately you can spot the strongest relationships at the reception. The bride and groom barely saw each other all night. She danced with his friends and he danced with hers. The best man was spinning anyone from bridesmaids to aging aunties round the dance floor whilst his girlfriend was doing shots at the bar with his work colleagues. These people are that strong in their relationships that they do not have to spend every second with each other. The girls that felt they had to ‘warn off’ the PIC and then mark their territory by making sure they had physical contact with their other halves all night should take a step back and look at the strength of their relationship. If you can’t trust your husband to be around a single girl in a room full of people AND YOU, then you have serious issues! What was going through your mind? Did you think that because PIC and I are single we would cast a spell on your husband and drag him off to a darkened corner to have our wicked way with him? Get over yourself. I’ve shared a cab with him, drunk, on my own and not made a move, so why would I in front of you?
Just because I’m single does not mean I want every bloke that comes within a mile radius of me. I’ve been single for two years because I’m choosy – and I wouldn’t choose yours if it was covered in chocolate.

Learn more about our delightful SingleinShires

Change of Scene?

By SingleinShires

Saturday night was a farce. One of those nights where you start to question whether this is your actual life or there are in fact hidden cameras recording your every move and someone out there is sat watching and laughing at you. The The Last Single Girl meets The Truman Show.
The night started like any normal night out. Myself, my Partner in Crime and 2 males friends meet for dinner and head in to town for drinks. But the minute I walked in to a certain bar it dissolved in to weirdness. The bar we were in is not particularly up-market but it was 11.45pm and I had been at the cocktails. It has two dancefloors and isn’t populated but hair-swishing, bitchy teenage slappers like a lot of bars/clubs are. There’s no attitude; everyone is far too old to care about having an attitude, we just want to dance like idiots to 80s disco and 90s club classics in one room or cheesy pop tunes in the other. And dance like idiots we usually do.But I have clearly spent far too much time in there in recent months.
Within half an hour I am walking from one room to another and see a guy I’d been chatting to the week previously. He was a nice enough guy, not my type but had bought me a couple of drinks so I felt obliged to give him a number when he’d asked. I just neglected to give him my actual number. Of course I didn’t give him a completely wrong number, or my ex’s like I have done before, I actually only ‘mis-typed’ the last digit. So there he is, this short, dumpy little man waving his mobile phone at me, whining “why would you do that? I thought you were a friendly person”. I apologized and told him to swap the ‘8’ for a ‘0’ and he’d have the right number. I then legged it, rather embarrassed. Most blokes ask for your number and never call, typical that this one did.
I escaped out on to the terrace at the back of the bar to find the 2 boys and use them as a wall to hide behind in case the little man comes after me. As I’m sat there, huddled under the outdoor heater, relaying the story, my phone buzzes. My immediate reaction is that it is the same guy testing the number out and I have visions of playing hide and seek with him all night now. But no. It’s Facebook Messenger with a new message: “You look very lovely tonight”. Oh crap. This one was one that had asked for my number a while ago and I’d told him my battery had died and I didn’t know my number off by heart. I’d only been talking to him because my feet hurt and I couldn’t run away. It had been 3am and my new shoes had cut my heels to bits so I was perched on a table in the corner of the dance floor swaying my legs back and forth like a child watching my mates dance. This guy had come and sat with me to ask if I was ok and I politely chatted to him. I seem to remember he was into marathon running and was trying to get me to train with him, and being drunk I probably agreed. Instead of getting my number he then tracked me down on Facebook and I stupidly accepted the request (I’m nosey).

Anyway, I read the message and start laughing and telling the boys that I have another one to hide from. Their reaction is of course to look at me with despair and shake their heads. As I’m laughing and telling them which particular stalker has messaged me I’m aware of someone stood just behind me… yeah you’ve guessed it. He’s sent the message whilst stood at the next table. Who does that? Weird stalker people do, that’s who. Any normal bloke would have just come over and said hello so it’s his own fault if he heard anything he shouldn’t. Although I don’t think he had judging by the fact he continued to stand there and try to make conversation. The conversation was a bit awkward:
“How are you?”
“I’m well thank you”
“Did you see my message?”
“Yes I did, freaked me out a bit. You could have just said hello”
“I wanted to tell you that you look pretty”
“Thank you, I’m flattered. Normal people say that face-to-face. Only stalkers’ use Facebook Messenger when they are 10 feet away”
“I wanted to see you smile when you read it”
“And did I smile?
“No, it was kind of a grimace”
“Yes, because it’s weird”
“Ha ha. So how’s your new job going?”

At this point I explain I don’t have a new job whilst kicking one of my male friends under the table and staring at him. He takes the hint and interrupts to ask me something and I then excuse myself and run and hide in the toilets.
Next door to the toilets is the cloakroom. The cloakroom attendant grabs my arm to tell me I am beautiful and that I should go for a drink with him as I obviously like him as I flirt with him whenever I walk past. I must stop smiling at people then. I was being friendly not flirting, so miserable face in future.

By this point all my hiding has meant I have lost the 3 friends I came out with. PIC is off dancing with some random and the 2 boys, for once, aren’t outside smoking. So I spot a sofa from which I can people watch and chill out. That lasted all of 5 minutes. Next thing I know I’m joined by 2 men in their late 40s who tell me they see me in there all the time and have been waiting to spot me alone. I’m then asked if I would consider dating an older gentleman that was poor of money but rich in affection. I’m not sure which one of them they meant; maybe they wanted me to choose. I didn’t hang around. I pretended I’d spotted the PIC and ran off.

I wander round and find the PIC and the 2 boys in the other room so I plonk myself down to watch them dance. The boys were on the periphery of a group of girls so I couldn’t interrupt that mission and the PIC was still being spun round by the random. Turns out the random had a friend in the form of a tall, drunk, ginger Scotsman. I was polite, and we chatted, and in parts he was quite funny. I am a pro at chatting to the ugly friend of whoever the PIC has pulled so it comes naturally, but because he was drunk he was repeating himself a lot and a broad Scots accent is hard to understand when being slurred I was losing the will to live. After the night I’d had I really could not be arsed to spend the night smiling and nodding whilst watching everyone else have a good time from over said friend’s shoulder. So I said I was just popping outside and would see him in a bit. I didn’t consciously choose not to go back but I didn’t.

Next thing I know, tall ginger Scot has found me:
“You left me” he shouts at me.
I snapped: “I said where I was going, you weren’t on your own as your friend was with my friend right in front of you. Besides, I don’t even know you.”
“OK, fair enough” he slurs, “Do you want a drink” and as he says this he thrusts forward a half full bottle of rose wine. I decline.
“Fair enough, more for me” and takes a large glug directly from the bottle.
At this point my mind is made up. I’m going home and I’m staying away from that place for a long time!!

Read more from SingleinShires

The Young One!

By TheFemmeFemale

Now if you knew me you’d know I have an extremely high criteria when it comes to choosing who I go out with. The more experience I have, the more I expect from a man and there are some very basic rules  I find it very hard to veer away from  I mean my strict check list, which contains bullet points such as:

  • Must be over 30 but under 40
  • Must be over 6ft
  • Must have job and not live at home with mum
  • Must be able to pay his own way (as I do this – so definitely need a man to be able to too)
  • Must not have a crazy ex
  • Must be good looking to a head turning point
You get the gist.. This obviously limits my choices of men a lot, but the list was put in place after many grim experiences, so I felt it necessary to mentally lay out what I want and definitely do not want.
So when I got Twitter chatting to a very young man – I knew in my heart of hearts nothing would ever come of it due to his age, which was 23 – 9 years younger than me (GASP!!!) but when he sent me DM after DM on Twitter I replied in a friendly manner, after all I absolutely hate coming across as rude and too big for my own boots.
Somehow this young dude’s persistence meant that eventually I added him to my whatsapp so we could chat on the phone and in his defense I didn’t feel his young-ness shining through.
Well apart from when he mentioned his love for cartoon Network. But I let that one slip!
He made it clear on numerous occasions he wanted to meet me, and also what he would do to me if we should meet, and my curiosity  got the better of me and I eventually agreed to meet- just for a drink you understand.. I had let myself be told that young men can come in handy (and we all like a handy man as a back up) as they have bags of energy and are keen to learn and please, and so well I was going through a dry patch – so to speak, so figured I had nothing to lose by meeting him.. Right!!
We met on a weeknight in a local bar and upon first introductions I can’t say I felt an instant attraction, he really looked too young and I felt extremely self conscious when entering the bar as I felt everyone would be staring at me and whispering “Cougar” in the corners..  Which is actually partly one of the reasons I had told myself never to date a younger guy. I’d hate to feel old- when I don’t normally feel old at all..
I imagined people staring at us wondering if I was his teacher perhaps, maybe his adoptive mother. Not the greatest feeling when one just wants to have a lovely evening.
We sat down and started talking and he was making no moves whatsoever to get the drinks in -even after a few heavy hints from me, he still didn’t budge, so I eventually offered to go and get the drinks.. This is where it started going wrong and I knew it..
He proceeded to talk about his home life which consisted of his mum, his mum’s partner, his brother, and sister and other brother and sister.. Either he lived in an East End mansion or he shared room with a sibling! I just couldn’t relate to this as I had left home by 17, and felt I was talking to a teenager if I’m frank!
I got the drinks and asked if we should eat.. He pointed at his bag and said he had food in there.. I was rather flabbergasted as what was he going to do? Bring out his mums’ finest Tupperware and ask to borrow the microwave?
I still don’t know what relevance his packed lunch / dinner had to our date, I really hope he had no intentions of whipping it out and eating it in a bar..
Anyway I was hungry so we ordered food and got eating.. He ordered a drink I’d never even heard of and that made me feel like I wasn’t really down with the kids- apparently this drink was all the rage.. What is wrong with a bottle of fine wine I say!?
I knew that nothing was going to develop between us and had this feeling of “I knew I was right not to date a young guy, as he’s just a boy” feeling the whole way through, and wanted to leave,  but wanted to at least finish my meal, a girl’s got to eat after all!
We got to the awkward bill bit of the evening and I insisted we share the bill but he took it and went to the bar to pay, and I thought that was nice of him at least, don’t get me wrong I always offer to pay half and would never go on a date if I knew I was a bit brassic as I’d hate coming across as a money grabbing expectant woman.
He returned to me looking rather downtrodden and I had a fleeting thought of him telling me his card had been declined and it wasn’t far off, as he proceeded to explain that his card didn’t work so he was going to pop out to the cash point.. I actually thought to myself that he would do a runner to get out of paying the bill- Yeah I forgot to say I am a bit pessimistic when it comes to men!
He came back with the biggest “head hang” ever, and I just knew I was about to hear another excuse and I wasn’t wrong – “I brought the wrong card out” he said, and well I just took it like the “older woman” that I am and said “Oh well, here’s the money, can you go and pay now there’s a dear” and he did, and I was hoping so hard that he felt truly embarrassed and that he KNEW that he had just killed ANY hope of us meeting again..
I am 100% sure he had no money – but then why come on a date? To embarrass yourself like that? Well it was majorly off putting and as we parted ways, he was adamant that “next time” he would take me out and treat me.
When I heard from him later that night I told him in no uncertain terms that there would be no “next time” and the poor love flipped out and abused me and shouted at me (yes he called and shouted down the phone at me)- saying I was shallow and a bitch and a cow and selfish and cold and well I remained as calm and dignified as I could as he was simply proving my whole point about dating a younger man..
He had convinced himself we were going to become an item (how deluded can you get..?) and by me pointing out otherwise – well he obviously felt very scorned. All I could do was shake my head and tell myself that “Well at least I tried it, and proved myself right” and that – even if nothing else did, pleased me as I like to be right :)
I am a woman after all…
Read more on The Femme Female
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